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Life is not fair, and many children make their way in less than ideal circumstances. Some craft an even more precarious course for themselves by making poor choices before they understand where their selections would take them. Early on, Tom’s experiences discouraged him from feeling good about himself or getting close to other boys who could have been his friends.
Introduced early to same-gender sexuality, his ways of being intimate required secrecy as he looked for love among others of his own gender. Unsuccessful in his search for happiness and in crisis, he learned for himself that for him, gay was not good. Unable to retrace his steps, he could only find himself and a new life by believing it was ahead somewhere and that God would help him find it.
This is a story of that journey, of all that was required for Tom to become a new person with new values and skills, possessing certainty of how he had gotten lost and found. His is a message of hope for any person who has come through similar circumstances and also wants to grow beyond gay. Certainly, there are many men who became bound to their childhood and yearn to be free from compulsions that had come to be their uninvited lot. Tom knows how to get to the other side and, in the sunset of his journey, has established signposts that teach and point much of the way for others to do the same.
This book is written from personal, academic, secular, and spiritual perspectives. It is a reframe of homosexuality, redefining its purpose and process. It clarifies how a homosexual identity can evolve and the real motive behind the sexual desires. It describes ways in which those homosexuals who wish to do so can realize a new way of being, moving way beyond gay. It also provides a rationale for heterosexuals and homosexuals to work together to achieve mutually beneficial outcomes.
After years working with many homosexuals as a clinical psychologist, and conducting extensive research, the author has concluded that homosexuality has been greatly misunderstood and that both the homophobia of heterosexuals and the pro-gay agenda of homosexual activists are counterproductive and harmful to gays. While there are many supports now for gays living a gay lifestyle, there is little information or help for those who wish to live their lives differently. This book helps fill that gap.