Posted Thursday, January 9, 2025
Boys become same-sex attracted not because they are antisocial or criminally minded. Instead, they are railroaded or corralled onto that path of developmental deviation by uninvited and unwanted circumstances. Given the experiential academy I attended, my credentials could hardly have been better earned. Mine was a textbook case of all that should not happen for one to come out a normally identified kid.
The critical affectional bond with my mother was severed by her death when I was just over one year old. Our neighbor next door became my foster mom. Her infant son, born the same time as I, died at birth. For six years, she and her two teenage daughters provided good, loving care. Mack, my foster father, was away most of the time, working on the railroad. He died in a railroad accident shortly after I was six and had gone back to live with my father and his new wife. I have no memory of him but was told I followed him around “like a little puppy.”
My paternal grandfather died in a drowning accident and my dad’s stepfather severely abused him and kicked him out to shift for himself while still a delinquent child. Unfortunately, my father’s tormented temperament was directed my way. Shortly after my return to his home, his abuse began. It was physical and emotional. I was intimidated, beaten, and subjected to harsh punishments. He adamantly informed me twice that I was worthless and that it would have been better had I died at birth. But I was sharp enough to realize that he was not like fathers should be, and firmly determined I never wanted to be like him.
My step-mother was wonderfully dutiful, but emotionally remote. There were no hugs and tender loving. She supported Dad well, managed an orderly home, provided nutritious meals, and was a devoted Christian. I loved her and have been immensely grateful for her example of faith and industry.
When I was an adult, my foster mom told me that when I was about four, there was evidence that my first out-of-home playmate and I had been involved sexually. He was one year older and, I believe, initiated those activities. I subsequently recalled three brief incidents when we were together sexually. We never became friends.
Long story short, I pursued same-sex sexuality through high school and hit big-city gay life in the nation’s capital shortly after high school graduation. I left the gay scene in the early 60’s, before aids came along. These events are all noted in my text which considers in some detail the whys and how’s of homosexuality. Following a major crisis, I could not stay gay. I had to find a new journey and became driven to know how I became gay. I desired a family. Both my Master’s and Ph.D. degree studies were designed to shed light on this different way of growing up.
All persons should be free from bigotry and abuse and have the right to live their lives as they wish. My goal is to help men better understand how they might have become same-sex attracted and what they can do to get their needs met and enjoy a heterosexually oriented life if they desire. The way is available but entails a lifetime commitment with no looking back, only forward. After presenting cases that clearly contain antecedent identity distorting commonalities, I will share how my life has been changed. The path to a fulfilling happiness is arduous but well worth the sacrifice.
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