Hello again. I’ve been struggling, trying to get over my second hefty bout with Coved. It’s been a nasty bug.
The story is told of a man who desperately needed his large and intricate machine repaired. He followed the repairman as they wended their way through a vast maze of pipes and meters. The repairman looked and listened and finally took his hammer and pounded in a particular area of pipe. Mysteriously the machine immediately began working. The businessman was pleased to be able to resume production but was later irate when he received a repair bill in the amount of $500. The repairman was called to account for what the businessman thought to be an outrageously high bill given what little had been done. The repairman explained: charges for pounding: $5; knowing where to pound: $495.
In my last post, I noted being grateful for being liberated from desires for erotic intimacy as a way of connecting with other man. I share now a short history about my life after growing up gay and learning how to “know where to pound.”
In a few short months, my wife and I will begin our sixtieth year of marriage. We have gradually become one, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. We’ve been blessed to see our nine children grow up and become parents, some even grandparents. Over the years, I have been enabled to see with new eyes and have a new heart.
Growing up, I was a “6” on Kinsey’s scale (exclusively gay) and driven to find a mate. But after years searching, I had begun to give up hope. Life changed abruptly when I spied Brad across a crowded room and our gaze connected. That moment I was strongly drawn, and my heart let me know it was not like any other thus far experienced. I sensed from him a reciprocal interest and there was an immediate flood of hopeful anticipation. There was a portent of something new and wonderfully different.
As it turned out, our deep affectional bond was sustained despite our infrequent contact, as I lived in D. C., and he, near Manhattan. We were planning to live together when I received news of his being injured in a serious auto accident. Anxious for his survival and praying for his welfare, I had an unexpected epiphany. I received an uninvited but undeniable message that same-sex sexuality is not acceptable to God. I was given to know this at a level not previously understood. To cope, I determined Brad and I needed to affirm our certain love differently, emotionally and socially, but not erotically. We could still be best buddies. But Brad could not go that route, and I could not relinquish my faith in God, elevate man above our Creator, so we sadly parted ways. I believed God would not give me this direction without helping me find a better way of living. And he has.
After a lifetime studying about homosexuality and working with many gay individuals, I am able to point the way men can use their persistent same-sex attraction socially and emotionally to overcome their fears and dissatisfactions and make rewarding connections with straight men. There are ideas and strategies that can greatly enrich their lives.
Principles must be learned and lived. Remember, to achieve a grand objective, one must first believe it to be possible. As we continue this discussion and encouraging ideas are discovered, please share our site so others can be helped as well.
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