Post 14
Referencing my earlier comment about “so many men and so little time,” I want to note that Harvard psychologist, Jerome Kagan, made some very important comments regarding human motivation. He explained that while the strength of many basic needs, such as hunger, thirst, and sexuality are diminished for a time after they are experienced or satiated, this is generally not the case with the need to possess and demonstrate aspects of one's gender role. He said further, that “the performance of masculine acts does not weaken or destroy temporarily the desire to continue such behavior. The significance of a sexual standard rests with its governing influence on the initiation of a broad band of behaviors. Males need to have gained that is internalized and affirmed within a secure sense of their okayness as men, that is, their masculinity. Acclaimed historian, Martin Duberman, explained, “In some complicated way I think all my homosexual activity is an attempt, among other things, to identify with a masculinity I never was sure I had. Simply entered by a man is perhaps the most direct way of incorporating and absorbing that masculinity. The fantasy remains strong, to be possessed by and thereby to possess a real man and his qualities.” Apparently Duberman did not consider himself a “real man.”
So, what is a real man? In the future I plan to consider briefly aspects of the phallus, this male appendage Duberman felt the need to take within himself. But more importantly and particularly, we need to consider what contributes to males feeling bereft of their own sense of potency. What lessens their personal security? What detracts or detours from their male worth, because that is where the path leading to homosexuality begins?
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