Post 38 12/25/24
Attention: Following are Key points!
The bond of love and respect between a father and son is the primary channel through which young boys gain their sense of worth and assurance of self-as-male. That bond fosters masculine development and supports boys’ comfortable social integration with other boys. Without this secure father/son bond, they are likely to sense an unwelcomed difference between themselves and other highly valued males, a distance sufficient to spark the fire of erotic attraction. Later, when hormones, physical development and sexual awakening mix with unmet and seemingly unbridgeable desire for closeness and belonging, the drive for intimacy often becomes eroticized.
Psychiatrist, Richard Green, studied preadolescent “sissy boys” longitudinally, those enroute to becoming gay, and found them to be suffering “male-affect starvation.” They were craving father love.
Desperately kneeling before the phallic god, emotionally-bereft gay males expectantly suck for the milk of masculine human kindness. But they do so in vain because romancing a symbol is a mirage, like lost men certain of the lake they see on the desert horizon.
From childhood, gay men possess legitimate dependency needs for fatherly and brotherly love. Teleologically, it is every man’s destiny to be heterosexual, a capable father. Certainly, the “blighted germs of heterosexual tendencies which [Sigmund Freud said] are present in every homosexual” can awaken to new life through healing relationships. The Bible references the special care that widows and fatherless require and can receive through “nursing fathers.” Boys ned the correct succor in order to grow. Boys and men can be given that soulful connection, affirmation, and identification they did not receive earlier. Their past does not necessarily rule their present or future.
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